Time Is Fleeting - Facing Deadlines & Old Guy Stuff



"Be careful what you wish for."  It's a phrase that often sums up my life.  I struggle with the concept of manifestation, but it happens... and sometimes, the "gift" is both a blessing and a curse.  For example, let's recap the past 6 months:

1. I recommit to magic

2. I begin writing about my journey

3. Surprisingly, other magicians read the blog and respond

4.  One of those magicians is Jeff McBride, who suggests that I apply for a Mystery School scholorship

5.  I'm accepted

6.  Non-magician friends read the blog

7.  A non-magician friend offers me my first booking

That's the "Fairytale" side of the story, the part that both surprised me and made me humbly grateful.  There was, however, another narrative going on behind that story:

1.  My wife and I randomly stumbled on our dream house and made an offer

2.  We spent weeks organizing, dumping, then moving 26 years of accumulation from our old house to our new one

3.  Another month and a half is spent repairing our old home in preparation to sell it

4.  My full time job of 7 years suddenly became a part time contract position and I scramble to find additional sources of income to make up the loss

5.  I come down with pneumonia  

Of course, moving into our new home has been wonderful, but the stress of the move (along with everything else) took it's toll.

I joke about wasting the first 55 years of my life, but the reality is that things do change as we get older, and while the willing spirit thinks it's still 25, the flesh can be as weak as, well, a 56 year-old.  The pneumonia has been a good example of that.  After nearly a month I continue to slowly... SLOWLY heal.  I walked the dog yesterday for the first time since I became ill, and you'd think I ran a marathon.  As my doctor bluntly put it, "It's pneumonia.  You're 56."

One month from now I will be at Magic and Meaning in Las Vegas.  Early in December I will be performing my first magic booking since I was in college.  These are realities, finite points in time which require preparation, whether I'm sick or stressed out or simply wiped out.  Yes, time is tight, but I am excited by these opportunities that I didn't even dream of when I started all of this 6 months ago.  Hell, at that point I was hoping to learn a few more advanced card sleights for my own amusement.

My perception of time has changed, but not just in that "time moves faster the older you get" way.  I'm learning to take advantage of every second, enjoying every moment I prepare, plan, practice... live my life.  There's a lyric by Ben Folds that sums up where I am:

There could be fewer days ahead than gone
And all I've spent are long since on my way
To learn that nothing comes for free
But I'm not the man...
I'm not the man... I used to be


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