Kings & Queens and Life Deals a Joker


The fact that I've not blogged in a couple of weeks reminds me of the real trick I struggle with. Beginnings are so easy - it's almost intoxicating how easy they are. Full of promise, hope, excitement, beginning a new project seems effortless, whether it's magic, writing, or any of the other creative outlets I enjoy. But then, life happens, and I use it as an excuse to avoid the real work. It's not that I'm lazy (not too lazy, at any rate), I think it's more the fear of failure when things become difficult. Any skill is hard at first, and of course, we fail before we succeed. I know this, I understand this, but it doesn't stop me from screeching to a halt when the going gets tough, using life as a scapegoat.

 That said, Life has thrown a big distraction at me. My wife and I have suddenly found ourselves buying a new house. We hadn't expected to when we visited the development we're about to call home, but it did feel like home, it clicked for both of us. It's very exciting, as my wife and I have never lived in a home we picked out together, and there are endless reasons why this move feels right.

It's great, but in a way, I feel like Life has dealt me a Joker, and the Joker is me. Just as I commit myself to jumping headlong back into magic, making grand proclamations and promises to myself and the world, my days and nights are filled with moving plans, purging and fixing up our current home for sale, on and on. If you've ever moved from a house that you've called home for any length of time, I'm sure you understand that I'm dealing with some very real distractions at the moment. "How you gonna pull this off now, Joker?" rings in my head as I pass by a deck of cards with another sack of stuff for Goodwill. The truth is, there is a slowdown. I haven't been as diligent as I was the first two weeks I started this journey, simply because there aren't enough hours in the day.

 Here's the good news. I HAVE practiced. Maybe not as much as I was, but I'm forcing myself to get in at least a little in every day. I suppose this means I haven't let myself down (yet). I have to remind myself that this is still exciting and fun and that the only timetable I'm facing is the one in my head. Good things are happening in my life, including this magic re-commitment, and I need to suppress my usual negative opinion of my ability to move forward. And, yes, I have noticed that I put a lot of pressure on myself, thank you for noticing...

 And actually, as far as magic goes, I've had another performance baby step. When I was at my parent's house Easter Sunday, I decided to try out one of the card tricks I've been practicing on a live audience (my Father and my sons). It's a neat little trick using the Kings & Queens of a deck, and when I read about it, I thought it would be fun to wrap it in a poem about boys and girls and growing up. I've been playing with the words and practicing it for awhile and certainly didn't expect to perform it yet, but the time felt right, I had a deck of cards nearby, so I thought, "why not?" I was happy to find that I not only pulled it off without a hitch, they were entertained and puzzled by it.

I guess if a Joker has the Kings & Queens in the palm of his hand, there's still hope.

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